||[Aug. 28th, 2004|10:14 am]
I smoked a chocolate cigarette today. It was tasty. I licked my lips and it tasted all chocolatey. I really realised today how lonely I was when I started to feel like a 5th wheel... Lonely in the since that I had absolutely noone to cuddle with when all my friends where uber cuddly. I mean, I'm happy for each and every one of them that they have found someone to love, I mean, it makes me so happy, but really sad at the same time. I haven't been kissed in so long. I miss it...
I had a dream about Calvin last night... and he was real... but then I woke up, I realised how stupid it was to think someone like him existed. Then I cried... I think I cried for an hour then went back to sleep. and then my mom woke me up with the south park song in below entry... I just dunno. Life isn't worth living if you don't have someone to love and mostly, someone to love you back. I want what Lizard and Tony have... they're so happy. And it makes me happy. Weee... not really, but happy for them but sad for me.
i'm an idiot...