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awwww.... [Aug. 24th, 2004|01:14 am]
[mood |contentcontent]

You are Chiyo-chan! Everyone likes you, for some
reason or another. You're mature for your age,
and you are extremely smart. You are also a
hard worker, and often help your friends
overcome their difficulties. Your wish in life
is for everyone to be happy. You are very
unselfish, but sometimes your friends leave you
behind, thinking you too innocent to indulge in
their darker habits. Happiness, friends, and
hard work are what make life interesting. You
have an insecure side to you, and can worry a
lot, although you try not to show it. Your
best friend would be... well, everyone, really,
that's never been a problem. Your biggest
valid competitor is yourself. But you really
look up to the Sakaki's of this world.
Consider going into buisiness or starting up
your own company, you're sure to be succesful.
And you make a good leader, you could probably
even make president.

The Azumanga Daioh Character Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
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what are everyone's intentions with me? [Aug. 22nd, 2004|06:15 pm]
[mood |crushedcrushed]

I just posted this wonderful entry about how sad and depressed I was... so now I'm gonna sum it up in a nutshell:

1)I almost killed two kids when I ran over the curb into the grass at Boomer Lake :(

2)My friends are pretending they give a fuck when all they really think of me is that I'm a virgin slut, then, talk about it as soon as I'm gone, then pretend we're best buddies in person.

3)Everyone went to Tonkowa (MY IDEA BTW) and noone even called me... I love how much they care ^___^()

4)Cryed for 10 minutes as soon as Palm tree gets to my house because of all this crap.


[note to self] Eno, you should seriously consider doing both full time jobs, so these people won't have to deal with you, goddamnit!
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Eno, what ARE your intentions. [Aug. 17th, 2004|12:24 am]
[mood |apatheticapathetic]

I have hit a point in my life where I am forced to question wheter or not I'm a good person. I have no clue what I want anymore. I'm trying so hard to please people and myself at the same time. And maybe I should stop being upset about myself and worry more about others. I'm a selfish bitch who has no clue why she's alive.

I'm frustrated and tired, yet I can't seem to sleep. I know I've made alot of mistakes this past few weeks. Mostly concerning one individual who I'm pretty sure never wants to see my homely face again. I'm sure he knows who he is... but he's rarely ever on here anymore. And then... I was evil to someone... I wasn't the only one, but I let my anger take over and I'm worried he's gonna kill himself or something. UGH! I'm going to hell.

I'm also gaining weight due to my anti-depressents. Another reason is my overeating. I'm a nervous eater, or a nervous none-eater. Whichever!

I'm quite sure life on this planet isn't really worth anything. I mean you grow up, fall in love, get hurt numerous times, fall in love, get hurt again, fall in love hopefully third time is a charm, have kids who grow into teenagers who in turn treat you like shit the same way we all did to our own parents. Then, if you're one of the lucky few, you'll die at age 100. What's the point!?!?!? NONE!!!!!! NONE!!!!!! People use you, treat you like dirt and walk all over you! Because no matter what, their problems are gonna seem worse to them and yours will seem worse to you.

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I like eggs... [Aug. 16th, 2004|01:15 pm]
[mood |uncomfortableuncomfortable]

I have to job interviews on Monday. Hopefully I'll actually get one. Or maybe both. I think I'll most likely end up doing both as full time jobs. :crosses fingers: I'm hoping at least ONE pulls through. I think I'll cry if I don't get a job yet again. I refuse to work at Arbys or McDonalds ever again. Especially not with dickwad Bryan still working at Arbys.

Doot, doot, I'm feeling like my head's gonna explode and I won't be suprised when it does... well, of course I won't cause I'd be dead... eh, oh well. My hair has decided to be evil as well... don't know why but it's sticking up in weird spots. I suck -_-()

YAY And Everyone hates me! Cause I'm such an evil bitch!
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Photo bucket is nice! [Aug. 15th, 2004|05:39 pm]
[mood |bouncybouncy]
[music |Jimmy Neutron in the backround]

lol, yesterday I got my hair chopped off! It's short once again ^____^. I spent all day with Jeykah Davis! She is who cut my hair off. She did an awesome job. I heart it. Anyways, I finally got a photobucket acount, so here are my convention pics!

Barbie is real I swear!!!!Collapse )
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Feeling... [Aug. 14th, 2004|07:08 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |your face!]

Hmm, I dunno why I'm updating... but I am. Just a force of habit. I don't really have anything I can post on here except for some personal bullshit I've been going through for the past year, that most people don't like to read. So let's skip that, k?

Last night was sort of a farewell party for Brian I geuss. It was fun. We went to Walmart, Aspen(the new one), and then Lake Mcmurtry(sp?). It was ok for a bit but I suddenly felt the need to walk away from the loud music and gasoline fumes. When Tony comes running up behind me and hands me glowsticks. I wish he hadn't because the glowsticks caused funny shadows which spooked me into returning. Another thing that was quite funny... I straddled Brian. Don't dare me to do things, or I will do them. But it was reeeaaaalllly creepy because he's like... my brother :cringes: lol. Then Anna and I conversed about breast size. It was fun!

Yeah... I dunno what they ended up doing when they left me at my house, but I was glad to go to sleep as I always am.

Also, if a guy asks you to come and see him at work... does that mean he's interested in you??? I'd really like to know. Sad thing is, he's into just sex and no relationship. And I'm all about the relationship... oh well.

I'm a stupid biotch that once a guy likes me I freak out and withdraw from them, even if I might like them too. eh. oh well. I'm supremely fucked up.
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No day but today! [Aug. 14th, 2004|05:52 pm]
[mood |creativecreative]

I made the most awesome t-shirt in like... 10 minutes! It's also like 12:00 AM in the morning. I heart it uber muchos! yay!

Also, just saw AVP... save your money unless you want a good laugh.
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Amanda and Eno go to White Castle [Aug. 14th, 2004|12:17 am]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |Your Eyes : Rent]

I had a fun night excluding the possible fact that I've been extremely depressed all freaking day. Anyways, Manda and I just got back from Harold and Kumar go to white kastle. It was interesting, and yes, funny at parts. I laughed quite a bit actually, but it just wasn't as good as dodgeball, no sir!

Anyways, I thought I'd update about one of the things that pissed me off instead of keeping it to myself and Liz and Manda. But thursday Brendon and I went over to this dude Chris's place and he totally creeped me out. Copped a feel and what not. I'm sorry, but I'm just not that type of girl. Then both proceeded to talk about sex (an uncomfortable subject for me, when it's a serious convorsation.) They both tickled me which didn't bother me until Chris's grabbiness started to truly hurt. I have bruises on my knees and my ribs from both poking me to death. He even bit me a couple of times... I can't stand up for myself or fight back. I just make jokes and pretend all is ok until I can go home and curl up in my bed and try to forget about all the things they said.

And you know what, I'm a slow mover, and there's nothing wrong with that. It takes me forever for me to realise I like a guy. So just keep your hat on (you know who you are) I'm totally being a wishy-washy bitch, but I don't know my feelings and I refuse to tell you over the phone. You're my friend and you mean alot more to me then some phone conversation where we can't have eye contact. I need time to think about it all. I hope this doesn't piss you off, but you didn't call back and I have no clue where you are. So here you go.

Saturday I'm going to a doll show and then, most likely going to Tumble Weeds (a cowboy club) with Anna, Brendan, Liz, Tony, maybe Brian and maybe Manda. I don't know what to think about that either. Guys freak me out. I may act like a big talker and hell, even I know I may come off as flirty (but most of the time it's me being a stupid person who needs attention) but I hate dancing with guys... and I hate dancing in general. I'll be the only over-weight girl in the group and... I dunno, I'll just sit in the corner and ignore people and be all withdrawn and shit. Or I'll be totally hyper and piss someone off. Either way I'm screwed. I want to go for the experience... but I dunno. I feel like everyone in that group hates me by now. You know... all the shit I put them through.

I'm so stupid to think the world revolves around me and that people should stop their lives to be with me. But I'm selfish like that. I think most teenagers are... geh, I just don't know what I'm babbling about anymore. I'm upset and I want to get drunk badly even though I know how stupid it is. And I'm just ranting and ranting, which is something I have not done in forever! I need to be hugged and cuddle, cuddled, but in a totally none sexual/relationship way. I just need something stable in my life. Something to trust...

Something to hold on to.
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Since photo bucket is evil.... [Aug. 13th, 2004|05:33 pm]
[mood |geekygeeky]

Mer, I just decided to update even though I couldn't post my "awesome" pictures from Barbie con. lol!

Well, a peice of chocolate melted in my purse and got all over my cell phone, and stupidly I washed it -_-(). So it died... and I put it to rest and got a pretty new one. It did cost me 150.00 though... but it was worth it I geuss. I have two possible job prospects both working with kids. So I'm hoping they pull through.

I've been having some emotional issues.. so if I have not returned phone calls... I've just been curled up in a ball sobbing. yay for that! And I KNOW everyone thinks I've been ditching them or whatev' so that's why I've completely withdrawn from with everyone for a couple of days. I think people are pretty picced at me...

I need someone to talk to... but I keep pushing them away...
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Chocolate hotel dreams.... [Aug. 2nd, 2004|08:36 am]
[mood |scaredscared]
[music |knock on wood...it's a song ^____^]

I thought since the other hotel wouldn't have a compy, I'd update one more time. This time with a trippy dream I had...

Jem and The HologramsCollapse )
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